| Baby mama drama? |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|02:35 pm] |
After this.
*Private email to Cordelia*
Hey Cordy --
This isn't about the car, I promise. Just a couple things. . .
1) Remember that ring you helped me pick out for Piper? Do you remember exactly what that gypsy who sold it to us said about it?
2) At the Oscars last year, did we meet someone named Mary Jane Watson?
Thanks a ton --
Love to the hobbit,
T
*/email*
Public post, open to everyone BUT Piper:
Hey gang --
Just entirely in theory, if somebody was thinking about baby names that go with Campbell, what would be some good ones?
-Me |
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| Announcements, announcements, announcements |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|11:53 am] |
1. I have never even heard of Mary Jane Watson. I certainly did not get her pregnant. I didn't get anybody pregnant, ever, nor will I. It's an immortal thing. Seriously, I know starlets, and I never even heard of her. Is she famous or something? Is it a coincidence that she looks a little like Kara? Could she be a 'Bot?.
2. Somebody's sabotaging property I own. As much as I would like to blame Tucker Wells, this one has Osborn written all over it. Somebody do tell me I'm wrong, before I have to send out the goon squad? And seriously, where's Spiderman when we need him?
ETA: I apologize to Tucker Wells for mentioning his name in a light that could be construed as negative. Before Kara reads this and forces me to. Before any individual accuses me of invoking Mr. Wells' name in a negative fashion, I hope to point out that the negative aspersions on Mr. Osborn in the original post COULD be construed to balance out any inferred -- and not deliberately implied -- regarding Mr. Wells.
Alan, how's that for a disclaimer? |
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| Campbell/Halliwell wedding reception |
[Dec. 22nd, 2005|12:34 am] |
Wedding reception for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) suey_generis and freezehappy Open to all pups who care to come; I've turned off notifs to my LJ, so play away
The ballroom of the Sheraton has never looked so magnificent. Well, it's never looked so pink, anyway. Thanks to Kara Keating and Harmony Kendall's suggestions, taken very much to heart by the bride -- who, with her classic Charmed One taste, has managed to make the decor very elegant, while not detracting from the pinkness.
While Todd and Piper pose for pictures with all the living and dead members of her family (even if the dead won't show up on film, nobody wants to be accused of anti-specterism; it's not the result but the maddening process of long tedious and redundant posing that counts) and the various wedding parties (Kara, Cordelia, Paige, Phoebe and Prue as bridesmaids on Piper's side; Darla as best man on Todd's), a string quartet begins to play tasteful music, and groups begin to find the way to their tables.
After the meal, a first rate rock band will strike up some tunes and there will be dancing. Living, dead or undead, it's a good night to be in Boston. |
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| TM challenge: Happiness |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|07:08 pm] |
What are you happy about right now?
What am I happy about? What am I not happy about? I'm about to be a married man, taking the lovely freezehappy to the altar. A metaphorical altar, I think, though you never can tell with a charmed one. Tying the knot for the first time in a thousand thirty years, receiving all the proper attention from all the proper tabloids media. Besides it's the holiday season, and you know how I love eggnog mistletoe convincing Piper to dress up like an elf celebrating the solstice orgiastic rites of the Mithraic cult birth of baby Jesus triumph of capitalism. And now, despite what Messrs. Santorum and O'Reilly might have to say, I'm not one of those people making war on Christmas. That's Jon Stewart's job, and is he ever rocking it out. As a very wealthy beneficiary of the market economy, I can tell you that we all NEED Christmas.
Especially phones. Everybody needs a new cell phone that takes pictures, walks your dog, clips your nails -- oh hell, I don't even know what my own products do any more, but the point is that you should buy them. What's good for Campbell Communications is good for America. If people stop buying phones that double as coffee makers, the terrorists win.
So, yes, getting married, this Wednesday, just in time for the solstice. Piper has details here.
To my best men, all I can say is "Get me to the church Sheraton on time."
Speaking of best men:
Private to Darla: Call me about a thing? It's somewhat important. And no, I'm not contemplating suicide, having pangs of Ramona-induced guilt, wishing I was marrying Buffy or anybody else, nor are my feet or any other part of my anatomy getting cold. This is a purely logistical question.
Alan: We need to discuss liquid courage strippers entertainment. I figured that would be your gig? I'd ask you to be best man, but I don't trust you handling my jewelry, or talking about me in public. You're definitely the guy to ask about strippers, though. |
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| Today's Headlines |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|11:47 am] |
After this.
Chase's ex-paramours hospitalized after airport scuffle
All parties insist incident was 'prank gone wrong'
Two men formerly linked with "actress" Cordelia Chase, the current wife of hearththrob Orlando Bloom, find themselves in New York City hospital beds after, apparently, injuring each other. Police insist that the incident involving communications entrepeneur Todd Campbell and Harry Osborn, the even wealthier heir of the Oscorp fortune, was an "unfortunate prank" but "grounds for no criminal charges."
Eyewitnesses report that Osborn approached Campbell, at which time Campbell hit Osborn with a large golf club. A third party, identified as Oscorp Employee Phillip Santini, then discharged a weapon, apparently in Campbell's direction. Injuries to the knees of both parties are reported. However, spokesmen for Campbell and Osborn alike insisted that the incident was staged as a rehearsal for the "Rich Boys Gone Wild" episode of MTV's Punk'd. Asked if this explained Campbell's earlier alleged assault on Osborn, at a New York night club, both parties refused to comment, with Campbell's spokesman adding, "I don't know what you're talking about, that never happened."
Osborn and Campbell actually seem to have more things in common than otherwise. Besides their former associations with Ms. Chase, both lost fathers in tragic circumstances, and -- some have speculated -- may be attempting to compensate for this emotional void by living extravagant lifestyles and dating long strings of women.
Campbell, however, was believed to be on the road to a quieter life, with his engagement to nightclub proprieter Paige Halliburton. Reached for comment, Ms. Honeywell -- who seems intent on going through with the wedding scheduled for December 21st at Fenway Park -- stated that she was "not familiar" with the nature of Campbell's "personal relationship" with Osborn. Furthermore, Halliwell seemed remarkably unconcerned regarding her fiance's welfare casually stating that she would "go and see if he's okay."
So far, no charges have been filed regarding the incident.
/article
*OOC -- Cards, flowers, and condolences for Todd during his recovery period are of course welcome. |
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| TM-challenge: Mirror |
[Oct. 29th, 2005|12:27 pm] |
What do you think when you look in the mirror?
I look in the mirror and all I see is a young old man with only a dream.
Oh wait. That's not me. That's Patrick Swayze.
Who will no doubt be commenting in this journal momentarily. When you do tag in, Mr. Swayze, perhaps you can explain the powerful black magic assuring that, while I have lost the memory of so much of my long lifespan -- including my real name, homecountry, and the identties of my parents -- I have not been able to hire a shaman, witch or sorcerer who can eradicate a single note of the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing.
Let me try again. . .
I'll be your mirror, reflect what you are, in case you don't know. I'll be the wind, the rain, and the sunset, the light on your door to show that you're home.
No, wait, that's Lou Reed. As sung by Nico. Did she really have any talent, or was she foisted on the band? Discuss. Though Darla, dear, if you girls are still looking to do a trio for the wedding, that might be an interesting choice. Dru could stand in for Buffy.
Do over. . .
I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways.
Yes, that would be Michael Jackson. No comment.
Let me call up some Bruce. . .
I take my look in the mirror. Wanna change my clothes my hair my face.
OK, honestly? Not so much. But please, you think Bruce does either? It's such a line. Shuffle the IPod and. . .yet more Bruce:
It's a sad man, my friend, who's livin' in his own skin, and can't stand the company.
Ah yes. Truer words never spoken. And not a problem I'm likely to have. I wish everyone were as easy for me to get along with as I am. |
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| TM-challenge: Forgiveness |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|01:41 am] |
Who do you need to forgive?
Nobody.
Now, before you get all huffy about how I think I'm better than everyone, let me point out that there are only two possible answers to that question: everybody and nobody.
Because, look -- if you accept this whole forgiveness gig, the way I understand it, it's not a pick-and-choose. Not a cafeteria plan: Column A, you're forgiven; Column B, go fuck yourself.
Doesn't work like that. The whole premise behind forgiveness is (a)nobody's perfect (b)except one all-powerful God (c) so mortals get to forgive and forget (d) so God can sort it out (e) though of course God isn't taking calls right now (f) so by 'God' we actuallly mean the guy in charge of all God's land and money and armies at this moment (g) meanwhile, you, ignorant sinner, turn the other cheek (h)and if you've got a problem with that (i) meet my good friend Mr. Inquisition (j)and his cousin Mr. Crusade.
Sorry, I don't subscribe to that corporation except when it gets me a private audience with a comely nun or three. (Piper, honey, you weren't counting on a church wedding, I trust?)
So I don't do the forgiveness thing. To balance, though, I am very good at forgetting. If you deserve for me to forget what you've done, I've probably forgotten it already.
I'm not the type to hold a grudge. Waste of energy. |
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| A classic good-news, bad news scenario |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|03:05 pm] |
Sunday morning, coming down
How's this for a weekend to-do list?
Friday: get engaged. Saturday: catch your friend's boyfriend making out with the son of your best friend/lover and your mortal enemy. Sunday: Take Kara ice skating. Break the news to Kara about her cheating boyfriend.
There are definitely calls to make, but first there is Saturday night to spend with his new fiance. It's only when they've had a chance to sleep in, cuddle, watch CBS Sunday Morning and eat fresh melon in bed at the Plaza hotel, and when Piper is in the shower, that he makes four phone calls.
As luck would have it, nobody's home, and he leaves the following messages.
To Kara:
You're still up for skating this afternoon, right? And. . .there's a thing or two we should talk about.
To Darla:
Biongiorno, cara. I'm sure you're out and about. Just -- whenever you've got a minute. It's no big deal. But we should probably talk. Before you look at the newspaper, if that works? Things make more sense with context.
To Angel:
Seriously, Angelus, what the fuck is with your kid? Call me.
and finally, to Alan:
OK, if anybody asks? We're not engaged anymore. I'll explain later.
Then he hangs up and goes back to work, spoiling his fiancee.
He'll deal with these people when they call back. |
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| Headline: Boston Globe Society Column |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|02:40 pm] |
Campbell Keeps them Guessing
Saturday, October 8 --
Yesterday was a sad day for most Boston Red Sox fans, but at least one young lady at Fenway Park had reason to celebrate.
During the ninth-inning break, with fans nervously hoping for a Red Sox comeback, a message flashed across the scoreboard: "Piper -- Will you marry me? -- Todd" While such proposals have become fairly commonplace in ballpark outings, both the crucial point of the game and the identity of the couple raised eyebrows.
"Todd" turned out to be none other than telecommunications millionaire and notorious lothario Todd Campbell, last noted in these pages for announcing his simulataneous engagement to a man and a woman, an arrangement that was lambasted by Senator Rick Santorum from the floor of the United States Senate.
Whether Campbell was chastened by the Senator's remarks, or has simply undergone a change of heart, the girl in question is not Campbell's former fiance, Darla Aurelius, but former San Francisco night club owner Piper Halliwell. Campbell has formerly been romantically linked to, among others, actresses Sarah Michelle Gellar and Shannen Doherty, Senatorial daughter Alexandra Kerry, and Cordelia Chase, now the possibly-jilted wife of actor Orlando Bloom.
Halliwell seemed to receive Campbell's proposal enthusiastically, and Campbell himself responded by giving a thumbs-up sign to the camera.
The couple is rumored to be celebrating this weekend, in New York City.
There is no word whether Boston attorney Alan Shore, the other point on Campbell's previous triangular engagement, is involved. |
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| Out to the Ballgame |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|12:19 am] |
Friday afternoon: RP to Piper
The downside of magic is that it never lasts. Blessings or curses, they don't hold up on their own. Last year, the Red Sox finally took the air out of the curse that had haunted them for about eighty years. And it probably had absolutely nothing to do with a spell the Immortal was trying out to help John Kerry win the presidential election. And there's nothing to his theory that the spells were accidentally reversed. So it's really just superstition that has the Immortal believing that if the Red Sox lose today, he'll have amazing good luck on some other front.
But just in case. He's bought a ring. He's invited a girl. They have good seats, and -- well, if it looks like the BoSox are going to choke, he's bribed the guy who runs the scoreboard to help him pop the question.
He and Piper arrive at Fenway Park an hour before gametime. |
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| A shopping expedition |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|11:05 pm] |
RP for Cordelia
Settling down. Everybody seems to be doing it.
Tucker and Warren, Tom and Katie, Ben and Jen, Matt Damon and Whatzername. It might be Ashton and Demi that pushed him over the edge. Or, OK, most likely, the news that Angel and Darla are sharing a bedroom had something to do with it. Plus all the publicity garnered by his fake engagements makes him wonder what kind of attention he could get from a real one.
Just a bit.
But to be fair: his newly resolved resolution really IS all about Piper. She's a hell of a woman. Strong and smart and super-powered. Doesn't take any BS from anyone. Mysterious child mysteriously aged in another dimension, OK. Tendency to attract the wrath of evil creatures subsequently trash his home, OK. But really, doesn't that just make her his type?
And so he's biting the bullet. Friday night, at the ALDS game three that will PROBABLY knock the Sox out of contention for good, Todd Campbell will make a very public proposal to Miss Piper Halliwell. He'll even make sure the papers spell her name correctly. (It's not like it's really a lifetime commitment. Before long, he'll need to fake his own death to explain his failure to age much beyond thirty, and this way Piper will get the insurance money. Talk about win-win.)
Before the big night, though, the Immortal must follow a tradition set by many a clueless cad before him. He's inviting a former romantic interest to help him pick out the ring. Well, he's not THAT clueless. It's not as though Cordelia were ever interested in HIM. Still, it might cross the minds of most men to avoid ring-shopping with the recently jilted newlywed. But no one has ever accused the Immortal of being like most men.
He pulls up to the curb in front of Angel-Darla-Kara and now apparently Cordelia's place, and blows the horn of the Porsche. |
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| Apparently, I AM this guy |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|03:17 pm] |
Whoever he might be.
Apparently, I'm supposed to label this for something called 'Serenity Spoilers,' in case you don't want to know what this guy looks like.
( This guy )
So there, I didn't spoil your Serenity.
Whatever. Galactica is so much better. Even the original one, with the capes. |
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| TM-challenge: Most people wish that I. . . |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|11:18 pm] |
. . . would die.
Or at least that I could die.
It's nothing personal. For the most part. Tucker Wells probably doesn't even want me dead anymore, since I made the mistake of giving him money for no reason, and now he probably thinks I'llmake a habit of it.
It's just my very existence that makes people uncomfortable. I'm a special case (Sui generis, get it?) and I don't follow the rules -- not for vampires, humans, Immortals, anybody.
Of course, we are talking about most people. The same 'most people' who eat at McDonald's, buy Linkin Park albums, believe that a half-literate glover's son from Stratford wrote all those plays, and accept the moon landing and the single bullet theory.
'Most people' don't exactly rule my world.
Though on this issue? I'm sort of on their side. |
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| Journey to a Land without Ambiguity |
[Sep. 20th, 2005|09:49 am] |
RP locked to Angel and Darla
Normally, it wouldn't have been at all difficult to undo Cyvus Vail's memory spell on Connor's human parents. All the Immortal would have to do is find the wizard and apply methods of persuasion which are, well, persuasive. But Illyria had removed that option pretty handily and, in kiling Vail, activated a failsafe -- all traces of the original totems and texts used to implement the spell were destroyed.
In this dimension.
And that was the loophole. Darla had certainly consulted the Immortal for reasons of her own, but it turned out that she had happened on one of the multiverse's foremost experts on interdimensional textual backup and recovery. Thanks to his own faulty memory, access to such things was a necessity, and he had set up several backup systems in "holding dimensions."
Namely Pylea. Centuries ago, he had cut a deal with the order of the Trombli, who made off with a bundle of texts from Wolfram & Hart, whizzed through a portal, and set up a rather quaint little social order, based on battles between champions who measured their value by feats of strength in combat. An order based on slavery, speciesism, superstition, and general intimidation and fear, but then -- what society was perfect? An experienced portal-jumper, the Immortal had been dealing with the Trombli ever since. Then a few years ago, there'd been a bit of a revolution -- some liberte, egalite, fraternite kind of deal; every dimension had to go through that eventually; he figured it would pass and meanwhile? New opportunities for market penetration. And a chance to impress Angel and Darla by the ease and authority with which he could move between worlds.
He knew just the place to open a portal, and so as he and Angel made their escape from Cheers, he called Darla. "Meet us at the west gate of Fenway Park in 20 minutes. Can you get away?" |
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| National News, Boston Globe |
[Sep. 18th, 2005|12:18 pm] |
OOC: political content ahead; I'm in a mood. Apologies to Ms. Kerry, of course; not so much to Senator Santorum
From the Politics Section:
Senator Condemns Local "Immoral Trio"
Speaking from the Senate floor today, Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) blasted a troika of prominent Boston citizens as "emblematic of the systematic undermining of basic tenets of society and the family." The hub of the "immoral trio" in question is cell-phone millionaire and notorious lothario Todd Campbell, who recently announced his engagement to museum curator Darla Aurelius and maverick trial lawyer Alan Shore, announcing his intention to form a political action committee "dedicated to the legal recognition of polyamory in the Commonwealth of Massachussetts." Santorum stated that this is "exactly the kind of moral depravity that I predicted would occur as a result of liberal judicial activism, the end of school prayer, and the right-to-privacy lifestyle." He further noted that Campbell, who was born in Boston but spent most of his life in northern California before relocating recently, is a prominent donor to the Democratic Party and "the kind of northern-academia-cum-West-Coast-liberal who is ruining America and also what the hell is with his suits?"
Reached for comment, Campbell stated, "I know Senator Santorum is concerned about family values. I also know he's concerned about man-on-dog sex. So I'd like to make sure he understands one thing. I proposed to my dog. He turned me down. Mr. Shore is less picky, apparently. Anyway, this is clearly a step in the right direction."
Shore himself issued the following statement: "While I have always prided myself on my depravity, to be denounced by a United States (of Upstanding Heterosexuals with no Constitutional Right to Privacy, as it appears we've become) Senator as a degenerate is an honor beyond my wildest dreams—with the exception of the one featuring Todd, Todd's dog, myself, a beach house in Kauai, and the gift of flight. Where I was profoundly disappointed was in my belief that, being the beacon of tolerance he is, the good Senator would refrain from condemning my degeneracy and instead confine himself to reviling degenerate acts."
Aurelius, reached by telephone, refused to comment stating, "I'm not going to waste my airtime minutes on this nonsense." However, the local paper reported the following overheard conversation between Ms. Aurelius and an unidentified young acquaintance . According to this report, Ms. Aurelius stated, "Mr. Santorum is right. Orgies should never be institutionalized, that takes away all the fun. I'll make it a point never to propose to any of the people I'm having threesomes with again, no matter the tax benefits."
What Aurelius's remarks bode for the current status of the engagement is unclear, as are the motives of Campbell (a notorious practical joker) in announcing his bizarre engagement so publicly. One of Campbell's rumored ex-flames, independent film director and Senatorial daughter Alexandra Kerry, stated bluntly, "Look, I'm all for people being able to make their own personal choices but [Campbell] is just trying to embarrass my father. Or maybe he's pissed about his ex-girlfriend marrying Orlando Bloom. Anyway, Todd Campbell is a self-centered, opportunistic media whore who cannot stand for anyone else to be the center of attention."
Responded Campbell: "Look, Alex is a lovely girl, and considering everything she's been through -- what with the family fortune and all those arduous years at film school -- well, of course, I'm not going to use the phrase, 'sour grapes' or 'hell hath no fury,' and I'm certainly not going to use the phrase 'delusional to the point of pathetic.' I'll just observe that Alex's opinion on anybody else [ooc* link is not entirely worksafe] needing to be the center of attention is. . .well I won't use the word 'projecting.' And seriously. It's not like I'm the sketchiest character who gave money to her dad's campaign." |
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